Handjobs for everybody!

The handjob is one of those topics I’ve been putting off.
I’m about to confess something that no self-professed sex writer should ever confess. Giving a handjob feels really fucking weird sometimes. There, I said it. Yep. It’s how I feel, people. Deal with it.
Wanna know something? I’m not alone. I’ve chatted with more than a few chicks “in real life” who’ve expressed the same sentiment.
I’ve been trying to figure out what’s so “weird” about it, too. Let’s face it, aspects of feminine masturbation are really quite delicate. Into clit orgasms? (Me! Me!) All a gal needs to do is lie there and do some 1-2” finger rotations, and whomp, there it is. Hell, I’ve masturbated in public places and never got noticed. (But let’s not talk about that.) It’s just that simple as a chick. Whatever we do, it tends to look pretty sophisticated and subtle, and it gets us off.
When a girlie needs to stroke a boy, though, it’s so utterly foreign to us. Worse yet, it’s so obvious and so clumsy. Most of the time, it can leave us feeling useless. Up and down, up and down – oops! I did it again! I just slipped my hand right off your cock again! Oh, MY.
It takes a while to get used to giving handjobs, for sure. If you’re gonna tug one out, it’s best to have a user’s guide, first.
I’ve been working on technique – enough said, thank you very kindly – and believe I have a couple suggestions for things to be done a little differently.
First, though, let’s address the girls’ concerns. “Why bother masturbating him when he’s so much better at it?” Well, because he knows what to expect if he’s gonna get himself off. He knows when he’ll change paces, he knows what the next move is, and he even knows the exact point he’ll stop. You, though, girlie-girl, you’re the mystery factor. You doing it is like he’s being taken for a drive blindfolded. He knows he’ll get there, but the route’s gonna be one hell of a different experience without a direction to be aware of.
Guys go through their teen years praying they’ll get a handjob at the end of the night. And while, as a grown-up, the money-shot’s really in a good blowjob, going for manual stimulation’s never too much of a disappointment. Except when her awkwardness and insecurities are too obvious, that is.
Have a chat with your guy, let him know you’re a little awkward driving stick. Tell him to let you know if you’re grinding the gears or shifting in all the right ways. Ask him to tell you when he’s enjoying a specific technique, or if he can’t speak at the time and it’s real, real good, to bite his lower lips and close his eyes.
Watch his face. Study him. Learn what he’s loving. This, unlike giving head, is basically a two-way experience, because you can soak up so much useful information as to what gets your man off. Is it the nib under the tip? Ringing the base? Stroking gently with just a finger up the top of his shaft? Maybe it’s the old knob-polishing routine that’s too under-used? Giving head, you can’t really follow his reactions as much, so use this for what it is, a learning experience, and an opportunity to give him a nice orgasm.
Always, always, always make mental notes about what your lover enjoys, I don’t care who you are or what you think you know. Bodies aren’t one-size fits all, and not every trick works on every dick. You’re on your own, mostly, sister. I’m only trying to make it a little less daunting, is all.
But right now, coffee beckons, plus a few other things. I’ll write more on hand-jobs in the coming days/week, since it’s not done yet (eeps) but I’m curious if there’s other women out there who can share their feelings about giving a handjob, whether they too have felt odd performing them previously, or if guys want to volunteer things they’ve enjoyed having done to them in the past.

*Honestly, I mean, giving head’s great, but if you’re like me and you’ve been in a half-dozen vehicle accidents or so, the neck strain can be a killer sometimes, despite my fondness for impromptu oral. Something like a handjob is a great way to do something really nice for your guy with a minimum of exertion, comparatively. So, yes, there are very good reasons to give handjobs, and more on that very soon. This photo’s from Pornoperv.com. Doesn’t look like that inspired of a handjob on either side, though, does it? Hmm.

17 thoughts on “Handjobs for everybody!

  1. roscoe

    So now you know how a guy feels trying to understand the vagina 🙂

    Isn’t that the fun part though, crossing over into the land of the unknown…

    Everytime I meet a new girl I feel lost…something like a dumbass as I wander through the workings of her body…it’s fun unless she is one of those shy quiet types who is scared to tell me what she wants 🙂

    Reply
  2. Haaaaaaa

    I love handjobs as much as blowjobs. For me the soft, delicate hands of a woman on my cock are a huge turn-on. I like to watch her hands on my dick. Seeing the hand job is key for me. The other thing that a hand job offers that a blow job does not is that women can talk to us while they stroke us. They can whisper sweet little perverted missives into our ear.

    Blowjobs can be interactive too. I like to look into my wifes eyes while she blows me. It wouldn’t hurt to mix blowjobs and handjobs with some hot chat thrown in there too.

    While you’re at at it, how about an article on tit fucking?

    Reply
  3. scribe called steff

    Roscoe — Yeah, I feel like a loser giving a new guy a handjob, every time. What works for one is awful on another. Then every cock has its “owie” points, and they’re different, which complicates matters. Oy vey.

    Haaaa — Two things, one: I don’t have large boobs, quite the opposite. Smallish-medium, really. Two: even if I did, titty-fucking does not appeal to me at all. Just one of those things I’ve never, ever been turned on by, in fact, it probably tends to repulse me, really. It’s just one of those things I’m inexplicably opposed to, even though I know the appeal for some guys, etc. Fortunately, I’ve not yet been with a guy who: a) didn’t understand, or b) even ever asked or wanted to do it, so I’ve been lucky thus far that way.

    Having me write about it is like asking someone who hates chocolate to describe a new chocolate cake your company’s launching. Not wise. I’ll leave that for the scores of women who are into it.

    I love maintaining eye contact in a handjob. Keeps things intimate, especially as I learn my way around it better. I also like starting things orally and ending manually, so I can see the orgasm.

    Reply
  4. scribe called steff

    Okay, in retrospect, “repulse” is way too strong a word for my reaction to titty-fucking, but it’s definitely in the realm of being a turn-off.

    Shrug. I’m not the only chick who feels this way, but I don’t think or know if I’m in a majority. It’s just my thoughts on the subject, hence why I don’t want to write about it. I try to be sex positive, and to write about something I essentially feel negatively towards means I just can’t find an objective voice for it.

    Maybe, if anything, I might write why it does nothing for me, or even turns me off. It might be interesting for discussion.

    Reply
  5. Sarah Jayne

    Alright Steff – I read almost every day but I’m inspired to comment today for several reasons…

    1) I find handjobs awkward!!! And to be perfectly honest, I’ve never finished a guy off with a hand job – I’m more out a mouth kind of girl anyways – I like to swallow, so there’s that excellent non-mess factor. K, back to handjobs… It is by far one of the most foreign things I could do to my man. I have no idea – harder? softer? No lube at hand? Well, I guess I can use spit – oh darn, the spits drying up and gee, my mouth is a little on the dry side so I can’t create too much more. Is this chaffing? Is he actually enjoying this? This is ALL the kind of questions that run through my head – so when the choice is there, I’d rather give a good blow job! Other times, mid-blow job I may switch to some hand action just for a breather, but then go back.

    The down side to that – wouldn’t a little covert, under the table action be exciting? Nobody would know about the hand job (well, hopefully) except him and I!!! I like that thought but have never completed the task because I just feel clueless! Only with 1 ex was I able to get him to masturbate for me… so that I could watch his technique, get some clues.

    (another tangent, I’m a BIG fan of making my man watch me masturbate – my switches are a little complicated so making him watch me, I consider it a GREAT lesson that both him and I will profit from – plus I find it drives em’ CRAZY!)

    Also want to comment – titty-fucking? I find that just as awkward… I’ll bend this way and that way – I’ll explore positions galore – but the dynamics of having “boob-sex” (being a B Cup) is also just as foreign! I also encourage some women to comment on that if it’s your bag.

    Looking forward to more on this topic!

    Reply
  6. scribe called steff

    SJ, nice to hear from ya, girlie.

    Handjobs — I’ll be suggesting using condoms for the weird “where does the come go?” problem some chicks worry about. Stay tuned on that.

    Tit-fucking — You’ve prompted me to do a quickie post on my thoughts on it, and that’ll be posted tomorrow morning. 🙂

    I’ll give some tips and such for handjobs that should make things a little more comfortable for you, then. No worries. 🙂

    Reply
  7. Scully

    As much as I love a good blow job, a girl who can give a hand job is just…well, it’s a great bonus…maybe it’s the confidence of it all but the last girl I was dating was amazing at it…and she said it was something she had never really done before so…

    I learned a long time ago not to ask when things are good. I really don’t want to know if she was telling the whole truth, the complete truth and nothing but the truth if you know what I mean…

    Titty fucking…hmmm…not really for me, I feel stupid and just out of my “getting off on this position zone” and besides, I usually like smaller boobs anyway…but a change from A to D cup girls once and a while is always fun (real ones only…something wrong about fake boobs) but attitude is everything anyway…

    So yeah…hmmm…

    The attempt is worth the price of admission ladies…don’t be shy, most guys I know would gladly help you in the right direction, tit for tat right 🙂

    Reply
  8. Anonymous

    my guy seems to definitely like it when I look into his eyes, lick my palm from my wrist to the tip of my fingers, and then slowly spiral down onto him, back up, glide the palm of my hand around on the tip of his shaft, and just keep mixing those things. Oh, and letting various bare parts of my skin brush against his tool while I’m playing does wonders (a nipple grazed all the way from the base to the tip of him made his head drop back in total delight)

    Hmmmm indeed. Why isn’t he here right now?

    ~SG

    Reply
  9. l'amoureux de KT

    Handjob – sounds machinelike. Not a big turn on for me, either. Sensual Masturbation – lots of variation, a little oral, some teasing, communication – Big Turn On.

    Actual ‘Finishing Off’ isn’t really important – that can be delayed or played a different way.

    I absolutely love doing this to my woman, btw. I think she gets her enthusiasm from that.

    Piston-like-fist-action is usually painful and i avoid it.

    Titty-Fucking: Dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of. Tried it once for about 3 minutes in the mid-80’s and will never go there again. Yeah, my current flame is a 44D – so what? It’s ungainly, awkward and mostly lacking in direct pleasurable stimulation.

    Sensual Manipulation: 4 out of 5 stars.
    Titty-Hump: 0 out of 5 stars.
    Piston-Job : -3, on general principle.

    Reply
  10. Anonymous

    Ha! This is a first. Something I’m more comfortable at than most people who comment here. Well, the women, perhaps.

    Always liked it, always will. Never had any complaints from the lucky recipients. But then, the penis is such a fun toy, how could you not like playing with it?

    D.

    Reply
  11. RoyB

    A hand job is much more direct and results in more powerful orgasms for me than a blow job. Mixing it up is best, with a hand finish.

    Tit fuck? YEAH! Z asks me quite often if I’d like to do it, with that twinkle in her eye. (BTW: Z is a 40D, all natural. Fake boobs are kinda weird. Somewhat of a turn-off for me.) We have a huge closet door mirror in the bedroom that we can watch ourselves in. The look of it is more of a turn on than the stimulation, most of the time. Sometimes, tho, I just can’t imagine anything hotter. Z never asks me to do things she doesn’t like, so I’m pretty sure she’s enjoying it, too. 😉

    Reply
  12. scribe called steff

    Scully — Yeah, I’ve definitely grown fonder of giving handjobs, particularly these days.

    As for not knowing the whole truth, etc. Well, I disagree, it can be really handy. The Guy has corrected a few of my moves and told me what I was doing wrong for him, and initially, I was disappointed, but now I know he loves what I do every time. The change is great and rewarding.

    Anon — Yeah, that sounds hot. Me, I’m more the go-down-on-him, then-apply-a-condom-and-go-fer-it handjob type, myself. Hey, works great.

    Bicyc — Oh, semantics shemantics. I’m not talking about the piston thing. 🙂 Trust me, I gots a couple decent tricks to suggest to the unknowing girls out there.

    I’m glad some guys aren’t into titty-fucking. My Guy isn’t, so that thrills me.

    Anon Le Deux — Yes, I enjoy playing with the penis, and probably far too much. I think we’ve implemented a “not-until-the-second-half-of-the-show—dammit!” rule now. Sigh. Well, some of the time. If it’s a really good movie, the rule exists.

    roy — Interesting. More powerful than a blowjob? Nice. 🙂

    Titties: Hey, if she wants it, more power to you. I think that’s part of the turn-on, too, when your LOVER wants you to do these out-of-mainstream things to them, it’s hot as hell sometimes. I can dig that. Just not my cup of tea. 🙂

    Reply
  13. Horny Old Guy

    I LOVE hand jobs! I got my first one when I was about 13 and couldn’t believe how good that soft hand felt. A different sensation and so much better than just jacking myself off! Fifty years later and I still love hand jobs! The ultimate form of safe sex too eh? Of course if I had my choice of a blow job and a hand job, I’d still take the BJ!

    Reply
  14. Anonymous

    Honestly…
    I’m fourteen.
    I’m not sure when to stop.
    I’ve been told I “never finished.”
    Well fucker, how about you tell me what you like?!?
    How about you make some type of gesture to let me know if you’re even enjoying it?!?
    Or maybe say, “No, don’t stop.”
    Heh, yeah, that’s a little helpful.
    Grrr.

    Sorry, thought I’d mention my horrible agony. :[

    Reply
  15. Anonymous

    16- UK
    Well I’ve read this article and all those comments. I think its really going to help me give my first EVER handjob tomorrow 😮
    should be interesting, I’ve picked up a lot of tips but before even trying it I think what I’ve learnt is to ask what he likes. My boyfriend has had one before so after I warm up with the caressing etc. I think I’ll just ask him to tell me what he likes. I don’t think I’ll know when to stop, but I know how long he usually takes when fingering me so I think that is a good mark. =p I’ll let you know how I get on… =D

    Reply
  16. Janel

    Yeah I remember I mistakenly gave my first handjob before I got my first kiss even (even tho I did get that kiss 20 minutes later),but it was akward, I wasn’t sure if I was doing it right at all and it felt akward that my guy was like watching me silently, I was just like uhm can’t you say something? or show emotion? and then I was like uhm what do I do with this cum? do I clean you up? I still don’t rele kno, and I don’t rele like to ask. but he seems to always want handjobs so I guess that either means a) I’m doing it good enough or b) he keeps expecting me to magically be better at it each time, either way he wants it and I just wanna know how to make it better.

    Reply
  17. Pingback: Handjobs: Things You Need to Know, Part Two | Smut & Steff

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