Etiquette for Restaurants: Part 1

This is part one of two for restaurant etiquette. It was preluded with a rant yesterday. Yes, I’ll answer questions about going dutch, etc, but that’s next time. Tried to put this in the order it transpires on a date, but I’m sick and my head’s fuzzy.
I have had men saying women don’t respond to chivalry, and the chicks are just confused. I’ll write something about that in the next week or so, since it’s an important part of this topic, and maybe I’ll try to wrap my head around why that’s still happening and how to defuse it.
Anyhow, this is largely addressed at men, but there are women-related comments throughout, and a lot of it is knowledge both sexes ought to have about the dining scene.
Feel free to make comments about other areas of dining dates you’re not sure about how to behave during, and I’ll amend my part two posting if anything’s missing. Thanks!
Another thing? If you’re under the delusion that “manners” & “etiquette” mean the same thing, not true. Etiquette is about behaviour, social conventions, and even tradition. Manners have far less scope. This is Etiquette 101.
1. If you’re picking her up at her place and you’re seeing her pad for the first time, then find something positive to say about it. If you honestly love it, then flatter her tastes, tell her it’s very revealing. If it’s pretty uninspired, find a photo of her or something you can relate to. “Hey, I read that book. What’d you think?” Or “That’s a great photo of you. Was that in college?” Be interested. If you want us to care about sleeping with you, kissing you, or even just being with you, then be very, very interested in us. Women are like houseplants – give us a little attention, and watch us thrive. This’ll help you break the ice and give you a conversational direction to head in. It’s helpful on many levels.
2. Hold the door open. If I reach it first, I’ll hold it open for you – as any person ought to do for another. (Hear me, women?) When you’re holding it, look me in my eye. Don’t look at the ground like you’re sorry to be old-fashioned. Be proud, god damn it, and look at me as if I should know it’s that you respect me that’s spurring you to do it. It’s the kind of sexy thing Bogart would do. Be like Bogey. Smile, even.
3. Do I need to say this? Turn off your damned cell phone. Do not text message. Do not talk. Do not even acknowledge the thing in her presence. If it rings and is audible, shame on you. And women? Double for you! Jesus Christ, people. Put the fucking phones away on dates. I always do. Can we for five minutes pretend to be rapt in attention of those whose presences we’re in? Is it so hard?
4. When you’re seated at the restaurant, if the waiter doesn’t do it for you, put your napkin on your lap immediately. This signifies that you have class and upbringing. It also tells the service that they’re dealing with a well-trained patron, and they will give you better service (most of the time) if they see you know how to behave in such an environment. Believe it or not, I’ve read stories where waiting staff confess that a patron’s tendency to put their napkin on their lap influences whether the waiter thinks a good tip is coming or not — and you know what that conclusion means.
5. Your order will never get taken if you have your menu open. When she’s done and has decided and has closed her menu, casually pick it up and place it atop yours, the edge of them protruding slightly off the table, so the staff see you’re ready to order. Well-trained waiting staff understand this to mean “take our order, please.”
6. It’s all right to order for your date. It’s sexy. Don’t be a pompous ass and do it without her approval or input, though. Ask her what she’s leaning towards, and then casually mention that you’ll be happy to place the order for you both. If she smiles, you’re on. If you’re doing the ordering after she’s consented and the waiter asks you what you’ll be having, look him in the eye, then meet your date’s eyes, nod at her and smile, and look back at the waiter and state simply that your companion is having X, and you’ll be having Y. There are reasons she would decline you ordering for her, particularly if she’s a Meg Ryan type from When Harry Met Sally. I’ll have the dressing on the side, and your face in my lap, thank you.
7. Don’t order your drinks without asking the woman what she wants, either. Women know more about wine and drinks than they ever have, and you need to respect that. Ask her what she’d like. When the waiter comes over with a wine that you’ve mutually selected and you know your date knows wine, if the waiter extends the cork for you to inspect and pours a taster’s sample, tell him you’re deferring to the lady. Let her make the call. It’s sexy and shows you’re confident in yourself, and that you trust her judgment, and you don’t feel threatened. Hold her gaze as she sniffs the wine, tastes, and gives her verdict. Nod in agreement to whatever she says. Taste the wine, and hopefully you agree with her verdict. If you don’t, just keep quiet. Taste is subjective, and if you disagree, such is life. Next time, you can just make the move to order some for yourself. Or, you can cover your ass and ask the waiter to recommend something that complements both your meals. (Obviously, if the wine’s turned bad, it goes back.) And, DUDE, sniff your wine, not the cork. You sniff the cork, you’re smelling cork, not wine. Duh.
8. If you’re pouring the wine, never, ever pour it more than one-third to a half full, depending on glass type/size. Wine drinking is a subtle art, and science proves that 40% of our taste experience comes from our sense of smell. By filling a glass too full, you reduce the amount of aroma that “cups” in the wine, since it’s in swilling the wine around the glass that you cause the smell to rise & improve the taste. You’re throwing out flavour if you have a full glass. It’s uncouth. What’s more, it flies in the face of science!
9. When drinking, always hold your glass by the stem, particularly with white wines (less important with red). The more of your hand to cup the glass, the more heat transfers to the glass, thus elevating the temperature of the wine, thus doing bad things to taste. Common perception is that “room temperature” means whatever the hell the yuppies have their thermostats set to. Um, no, kids. “Room temperature” speaks to an era before central heating, to hundreds of years ago, to the temperature of natural caves and cellars. Somewhere around 14-16 Celsius, maybe 55-65 Fahrenheit. (Bad wine form irks me.)
More tomorrow. Sounds snobby? Hey, I come from relatively low-income heritage — farmers, fishermen, that kind of thing. We never had a lot of money growing up, but my mother taught me that just because I didn’t have money didn’t mean I couldn’t behave like I did. So, yes, class and etiquette instilled from a young age, and I’m grateful for it. It’s taken me far, in some regards, from my roots. Not an entirely bad thing, so long as your memory’s good. 😉

26 thoughts on “Etiquette for Restaurants: Part 1

  1. Anonymous

    This is great! I’m pleased to see that I have already been doing a number of these things, but I often feel a little bit uncertain about my etiquette so I’m glad to be corrected. I have a follow-up question on napkins: when sitting down at a table, I put the napkin in my lap without even thinking about it, but during the meal, should one use the napkin or leave it unsoiled? I usually use it occasionally just to make sure I don’t have food on my lips, but most of my friends seem to make a conscious effort to not use them. Are napkins meant to be used?

    Reply
  2. Anonymous

    Common sense…it almost seems like a lost art now with the explosion of the electronic age…

    Is our dependance on electronic communication and its explosion of the last 5 years going to change etiquette forever?

    Simple communication with people has become a problem to do so efficiently…so reading this I find alot of it common sense yet at the same time relive past expieriences and smile as I realize how some women are confused and in shock when pressed with the responsibility to be themselves…

    Wine…I like it but as long as it’s not Merlot I’m fine…and yeah, I learned the hard way about the half full glass rule when I emabarrassed myself in France at a 5 star chateau and was promptly “taught” the correct way to drink one of life’s great pleasures…

    Cell phone…yeah made that mistake too..but it was my $$$ lifeline and was how I paid for the $200 wine and $500 hotel room…but, I learned, and a $25 bottle and a beach with no phone is ALWAYS more fun than anything money can buy…

    Napkins…on your lap and use it…why not?

    Pick her up…yes, do not honk, do not phone, walk to the door and knock, help he r with her coat and open the car door for her…walk her to the door when you drop her home or at the least wait for her to enter her home…you aren’t going to get invited in every time…sadly, the more she likes you on that first or second or third date the less chance you have of an invitation to explore her body…

    But hey, what do I know…I’m reading this too 🙂

    Reply
  3. Mad Coyote

    Another napkin question- in your lap when you first sit down, or when the meal arrives? Also- keep it in your lap until you leave, or do you put it on top of the dirty dishes for the server to take away?

    A wine question- I personally hate white wine- have no taste for it whatsoever- even when eating chicken or whitefish, etc. So if that’s her choice- what’s the best response? Order it by the glass, white for her, red for me?

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  4. scribe called steff

    Anon — You want to use it, of course. You can wipe your hands on it as necessary, and if you need to clean your mouth, be delicate about wiping, or just dab. None of wiping that looks like you’ve been trained on sleeves, know what I mean? It comes down to use — if you need to use it to tend to something, then do so. It’s very proper at the end of the meal to dab your lips dry/clean, too.

    Anon Le Deux — Yes, some colleagues and I had dubbed it “RARE SENSE” last summer in conversation. I think etiquette was eroding before then… it ain’t just the last five years, but the cell phones have certainly impacted what little there was left.

    I have to say, as a pragmatic, everyday gal, I’d be baffled by a man willing to spend $200 on wine — I’d maybe even be turned off. I think up to, say, $50 is all that needs to be spent on a wine, unless you really do have the palate. Me, I’m a $20 girl when it comes to wine. It’s about the company, the accoutrements, the conversation, not about the flash and pomp. And yes, a beach certainly helps. 😉

    EXCELLENT point about picking her up! I’m stealing that for part two. 🙂

    Coyote — Well, I’m not researching this to check, but this is how I play it. I might leave it in my lap until the end of the meal, and then I’ll lay it — not crumple or toss — on top of the table when I go. Otherwise, don’t just sit it on the dishes — if the waiter’s coming to take the dishes, as he/she arrives, just set it ontop of the dish then. I think it’s better form to wait until the end, but hey, either works. I don’t think that part’s as big a deal.

    The wine q — you know what? I think it’s absolutely moronic to drink something you don’t like. Just tell her, “I’m not a fan of white wine, so I’ll stick to red. We can just order what we like by the glasses.” It’s more expensive, but you both stay happy. It’s absolutely the way to go. And wine experts are now saying to drink whatever the hell you prefer with whatever you’re eating. And I’m on your side about the white wine.

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  5. Anonymous

    Ok…you like the pick up part, great but the wine…

    Ponder this to understand, a $200 bottle is really only a $100 bottle but what kind of wine list would you expect from a 4 or 5 star restaurant? When the room is $500 a night your not going to McDonalds
    are you 🙂 and no, why would I do it to impress a girl?

    Is this the thought that comes into a womans mind when a man does something when on a date…is that it is just for her?

    Can a man not enjoy the bottle of wine with a person he has chosen to spend time with for the moment and not to impress?

    I’m curious…and yes, a bottle of wine, a sunset and the wind blowing off the beach wins every time…but every once and a while work has its benefits (travel can be one of them ) but the cell phone thing you hit out of the park…I now turn it off or at least to silent ring if it has to be on…

    Men still like to do things for women to feel good about ourselves…sadly, lots of women without knowing it take that enjoyment away…why not bring a girl flowers for no reason with no expectations?

    Just like holding the door and helping her with her coat people get wierded out…

    This could become an interesting topic…

    Reply
  6. scribe called steff

    Well, if you got the money to burn, I say go for it. Right now, I’m nowhere near the realm of having that kind of disposable income, so if a guy flashed that kind of cash around me, I’d probably feel pretty uncomfortable about it, personally, regardless of his motives.

    But I’m weird about money, so I wouldn’t take my POV on that. I’m sure there are lots of girls who’d love to be in that position. I guess I’m not one of ’em, but hey. Just an opinion.

    I love getting flowers, but I lament his lack of creativity if they’re roses. Wildflowers are the best bet with me. Or a mixed arrangement. Not dried flowers, ever — if you have asthma, it can be a bad thing. Heh.

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  7. Beth

    Good points, all.

    The price of wine in restaurants pisses me off. The mark-up is ridiculous. That said, unless you’re an oenophile, you probably can’t taste the difference between a $50 bottle and a $200 bottle, so why bother? Save the $150 for the next date. And like Steff said, it might just make your date uncomfortable. Women, still, think if a guy drops a lot on a date, he’s expecting something in return.

    I’d suggest one change to Steff’s wine instructions, though: The point of inspecting the cork is to make sure it’s moist. Sniffing it really doesn’t tell you anything. But if the cork is dry, the wine wasn’t stored properly.

    And as for the napkin, like Steff said, it goes in your lap immediately, it gets used as needed, and it goes on your chair or the banquette if you excuse yourself to go to the restroom. I wait until the table’s been cleared and I’m ready to leave then fold my napkin into a nice little square and set it to the right of where my plate once was.

    It annoys me to NO end when someone in the restaurant walks around from table to table and refolds napkins for patrons while they’re away from the table. Especially at the height of cold and flu season. God knows what that person is transmitting from napkin to napkin.

    And can I add: When it comes to bread, you break or tear off a piece at a time and butter that piece before putting it in your mouth. You don’t slather a whole piece with butter and then take a big bite.

    Fun topic, Steff!

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  8. Ysworld

    Indeed no cork sniffing, only inspection, read the cork and feel if it is dry or not…PS the new synthetic corks dont get damp like the natural corks.

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  9. Anonymous

    I’m reading what the guy wrote and thinking about your response and wonder what restaurant you are going to that is 5 star and has a bottle of $50 wine?

    As far as girls thinking that beacause a guy spends money and wants something…every guy over 30 has figured out and escort is cheaper than a date…

    Women need to get over themselves and learn to stop overthinking everything…

    Enjoy the moment and quit planning for the future…

    Reply
  10. scribe called steff

    I’m a total twit! I missed the line about the cork-sniffing, TOTALLY meant to take that out! Inspect, inspect, no sniffing corks — sniff the WINE in the glass before the first taste. Sigh.

    I hate being flawed. It’s fixed now. Stupid flu. 🙂

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  11. scribe called steff

    Spicey — Excellent. 🙂

    Anon — I’m not talking about 5-star restaurants and $50 wine bottles, I’m saying shelf price $50, for ME.

    You need to not dismiss women who are uncomfortable with having money spent on them. Right now, I’m a fucking pauper. I think twice about buying an $8 steak to cook at home, for God’s sake. That’s where I am, for now.

    I’ve had a good relationship die a terrible death due to money. When I had it, I treated him. When I didn’t have it and he did, he didn’t treat me. He guilt-tripped me, told me I shouldn’t have spent on him, if I’d saved more, I wouldn’t be in that jam, etc. And I will NOT be put into that position again. It’s not fucking important to me now, where I am in my life, to know what a $200 bottle of wine tastes like, and worse, it’ll fuck with my head. I’m ADULT enough to know that. I admit it. I’m just not able to process someone spending that much on booze, not right now.

    And if I’m having trouble making rent and he’s blowing that, I WILL BE RESENTFUL, whether I want to be or not, that he has that cash. We want what we don’t have. It brews bad blood. We’re human, we’re greedy, and it’s a hard thing to ignore.

    Do NOT dismiss someone’s sentiment as “overthinking” it when you know S.F.A. about where they came from. Money destroyed my parent’s marriage, and it’s destroyed a lot of relationships. One partner having money and spending on another can be a really hard thing for the person WITHOUT cash/WITH pride to handle, and people with dough have GOT to realize that. I mean, geez. If you’ve never rolled up pennies for groceries, maybe you’ll never understand. Me, I understand all too well, but these are the choices I’ve made to get where I want to be, sacrifices.

    Right now, I ain’t interested in guys with money, at all. I don’t need to be made aware of all I’ve given up on a daily basis.

    And I know I ain’t alone on this. I have known men and women who have all felt the above. It’s not about expecting sex. I’ve slept with a guy who never even bought me water — THAT ain’t about money. I won’t put out because of what someone’s spent, that’s a stupid reason. It’s about attraction. But money is money and it’s tied to a lot of people’s emotions. Do not take it lightly.

    Beth — I suck, that’s fixed.

    Coyote — Yeah, a single rose is still always nice. But so’s a sunflower, you know? Thinking outside the box is always hot. A single gerbera, a single orchid, sure. Whatever you do, don’t do carnations. Too funereal.

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  12. Anonymous

    ” Ooooo Great advice. I’ll have to refer all my heathen-college friends to it…”

    What, that if a guy spends money on you he might actually enjoy your company?

    He might actually enjoy nice restaurants or meals he cannot cook himself?

    He might actually enjoy the moment of adding something new to another person’s life experiences?

    Reply
  13. scribe called steff

    I think Spicey was talking about my post, if I may be so presumptuous.

    As far as the dining out in nice places thing goes — if I KNEW the guy and we were comfortable with each other, I would probably get comfortable with him spending whatever he wanted pretty quickly. I just would be put off at first. Quite so.

    At the beginning, I mean, keep it simple. Big expensive first dates are passe, in my books. Keep it simple, get to know each other over some wine and tapas or something. Then, escalate a little as time goes on.

    I realize some men just like spending that cash, and I know I have to get past that discomfort, but like I say — I ain’t alone, and I don’t think some folks realize how un-alone I am on this one.

    Reply
  14. Anonymous

    Why spend money on a first date…isn’t that when you see if you even like the other person?

    Isn’t a first date best as a walk in the park, the beach or a coffee in a great little cafe??

    Best first date I ever had started out as a quick lunch and ended up as an amazing breakfast…

    Reply
  15. Mad Coyote

    I understand about the money thing (then again, I was raised by a single mom with two kids, and I’m a single dad with one, though I’ve managed to get past the rolling pennies for groceries- though I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve done exactly that…).

    The thing is, from my point of view, I want to pay for that first dinner, and maybe a show (play, not movie). Because I have a certain old-fashioned sense about me. (Which is why I started asking Steff all these questions- how can I be old-fashioned in a world that wants to be ultra-modern?) And I want it to be nice. But if I fork over a crazy amount for a bottle of wine, I have to question my own motives- not that I’m trying to get her into bed, but that I’m trying too hard to get her, period. As in, “here I am, I’m the perfect guy for you, ’cause I’m willing to spend all this money on you”. And that’s not me. I’m not a sugar daddy, and I’m really not interested in Anna Nicole Smith. (Okay, maybe for a weekend, but that’s it.)

    I think I understand the woman’s point of view on this too, from a couple of points of view- spending that kind of money on a first date can come across as showing off, or overcompensating. “I a)have no personality; b)a small dick; or, c)all of the above. So therefore I’m going to use my bankroll to impress you.”

    The other way it could be looked at is a power imbalance. Yes, women want us to be their heroes on many fronts (at least that’s the impression I’ve been getting from a lot of the posts from the last week), but they want to have the choice to let us be the hero. (Hmm…a little harder to explain than I thought…)

    I believe that women want to be equal to us men. But I also believe that women would like to hand the power over to us. Not in a way that leaves them powerless- rather in a way that says, “I trust you to hold the power. To be the leader. The hero. The man.” (Is this making any sense?)

    When a guy starts throwing around wads of cash when with a women who doesn’t herself have wads of cash, I imagine she feels like she has no power, because the kind of power he’s displaying is not one that she possesses, let alone has willingly surrendered to him. Because it’s not her power, she can never take it back- and I imagine that makes her feel very insecure, much as nearly every guy I know (with the exception of the Lost Souls) feels threatened by women who make more money than them.

    Does any of this make sense, or did my train of thought entirely de-rail?

    And as for this:

    “As far as girls thinking that beacause a guy spends money and wants something…every guy over 30 has figured out and escort is cheaper than a date…

    Women need to get over themselves and learn to stop overthinking everything…”

    Anon, you’re talking about basic human nature, and part of what makes women, women. The point of all this is to bridge the gap between the sexes- really, to bring romance, not “ooh, a bubble bath” or “ooh, a candlelit dinner”, but REAL romance back into the world.

    That attitude doesn’t exactly achieve that.

    And at 36, I honestly don’t know how much escorts are, ’cause it’s never even occured to me to hire one. When I go out with a woman, or even go to bed with a woman, it’s because she wants to be there…not because I’m paying her. I know, it’s kind of a hang-up I have, but I’d much rather hear, “Oh God, don’t stop!” than, “You’ve got 15 minutes left…”.

    Each to their own I guess…

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  16. Beth

    Wow, isn’t it fascinating how many comments, voluminous comments, this topic has elicited?

    Steff, you do not suck. At least not in the context in which you wrote that. ; o ) You rock! And much as I dig that you comment on comments, I prescribe shutting down the computer and getting in bed and taking care of yourself. We’ll live without you for an evening.

    Reply
  17. scribe called steff

    BETH:
    i’m an insomniac sickie. 😛 getting in bed frustrates me. especially since i just received a box of sex toys in the mail and have no batteries. OH, YOU CRUEL COSMOS!

    yes, the amount of comments shocks the shit out of me, considering it’s the boring topic of manners & such. but hey, wicked. glad people care. they SHOULD! 🙂

    but then there’s the financial aside we took, so.

    but i’m gonna finish my dishes, heat up chicken stew, and relax. 🙂

    COYOTE:
    you know, i disagree with a play on the first date. strongly, actually. i think it’s the wrong move. nice gesture, but it doesn’t allow you to get to know them.

    besides, not everyone likes plays. me, i have bad hearing, so i get frustrated at them sometimes, despite loving drama.

    first dates should be about getting acquainted. second dates can be a bigger event, and will be more enjoyable now that you know more about each other.

    just a thought. plus, if it’s a bust, you haven’t spent as much.

    i prefer coffee and a walk, myself. if it’s going well, i might invite him back to my place to continue the conversation in a quiet setting, really allows me to know who i’m talkin’ to.

    Reply
  18. Mad Coyote

    Hmmm…well, we’ve met briefly for coffee (an hour), sorta got to know each other- unfortunately, it was a Thursday and I’d just gotten off work, which meant I wasn’t exactly entirely with it at the time.

    We’re going for dinner tomorrow on Granville Island- thought we’d see the improv show afterwards. But if you think that’d be a not-so-good idea…hmmm…actually, yeah, I agree. A nice walk around the water, maybe take the tour in the little taxi boat…you know, I think it’s a damn good thing I listen to you…

    And yeah, take a break!! You’re sick!! (Tsk tsk, should’ve gotten a flu shot…heh heh) Chicken soup, hot tea (no milk- either with lemon or honey) and a good film noir- curl up on your couch and let the world do its own thing while you do yours. The rest of us can wait (admittedly, with bated breath) for your next instalment.

    Oh, and as for the huge response this whole thing is getting- did I not tell you that this sort of thing is important to us men? If it wasn’t, guys like D.D. wouldn’t be making sick amounts of money “de-wussifying” men.

    Get some rest, Steff. We all look forward to hearing from you in a few days. ONCE YOU’RE BETTER.

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  19. Don

    Steff, I loved your post. Perhaps it was a little oriented to the 19 year olds in the audience but what the hell. I’m amazed at the number of comments, obviously these people are thinking a lot about their next date. Relax folks, it’s only life. Believe me, if you are an idiot, your date will figure it out regardless of what you do with your napkin. (BTW, that goes for women as well as men!) Steff, keep up the good work and get better!

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  20. Anonymous

    Based on your post from the 8th, women need to accept chivalry, etc.etc., then you launch into a “lesson” as to how men should be chivalrous at dinner. Your gender cannot seem to help itself.

    Women need to stop “teaching” men and start resolving their own inner conflicts about the role men have in their lives. Most men have heard it all, and the only rule of engagement I know of in this post-modern, post-femnist age is the female’s unqualified “right” to set the terms in a relationship, subject to change at any time and for any reason.

    There cannot be an enduring social contract between the sexes if women believe they can impose the rules without any accountability in return. Instead of asking men to keep changing, (be chivalrous, no, wait, be “sensitive”, no, wait, I want Russell Crowe. Russell Crowe?? He’s so 90s!) it is time for women to fully embrace the post-femnist era with some objective and honest reflection.

    Women have won the war against perceived societal constraints but they are not willing to publicly establish anything in its place. Men are backing off, not just because we are confused but because most of us are waiting for you to propose a new deal that both sexes can live by.

    Until that time comes (we aren’t holding our breath) we poor lost men will continue wallowing in our female-induced confusion. Incidentally, women will continue to suffer for this confusion as well in the form of short-termm superficial, sex-based relationships. Confounding to us men, women seem to prefer this situation in exchange for maintaining their perceived sense of power in the relationship.

    Analyzing men and unilaterally prescribing superficial (though fun and trendy) behavioral fixes in response will not solve the problem with male/female relationships. So I’m volunteering, admittedly with the benefit of internet anonymity, to seed the discussion on what women might consider proposing to us men. (This feels strangely powerful!)

    It starts with women analyzing and proving to yourselves (1) that you have character and integrity (2) because you satisfy item (1) you will think, speak, write and behave respectfully toward deserving men (not just the “hotties”) both in mixed company and when you are out with the girls and (3) that you are, based on objective proof that others can verify, well-deserving of all of the good things that good men can and truly want to bring into your lives.

    Incidentally, men do not share the view that women automatically meet these requirements just because they are women. The requirement for men to prove themselves daily, whether to earn a woman’s love or the respect of their male peers, has never been relaxed. We would like the same deal from women, which, in my view, leads to the type of true independence that should be the ultimate objective of the femnist movement.

    Pssst…a woman with integrity and a sparkle in her eye is sexy as hell. I’d do everything in your post and a lot more for that kind of gal.

    Reply
  21. Mad Coyote

    You know, it strikes me that aside from the last line, there’s a more than a touch of misogyny in that last comment…

    Oh, and for the record, I actually asked for this “lesson”. Literally. I e-mailed Steff and asked her advice, as a man to a woman. And this is that advice. The advice which I solicited.

    As such, I’d like to say thank you to Steff- your advice to date has been very helpful, and I look forward to learning much more.

    Oh, one last thing… as a man of integrity, I won’t hide behind anonymity.

    Sincerely,
    B. O’Reilly

    Reply
  22. Anonymous

    If Mr. O’Reilly did ask for etiquette lessons from Steff, then I feel I should extend an apology to Steff for the assumption in my first paragraph.

    Historically, chivalry was practiced toward both men and women as a sign of respect. I trust Mr. O’Reilly will apply Steff’s lessons in dining etiquette whenever he hosts company and not just when he’s dining with a love interest. There are a number of other resources on dining etiquette, including Letitia Baldridge’s classic publication.

    Reply
  23. Mad Coyote

    Oh believe me, unless it’s just a bunch of us guys having pizza and beer, I try to practice proper ettiquette wherever I am. In my career field, one thing you learn is you’re “on” the minute you walk out your front door. ‘Cause you never do know who your next client will be.

    Not to mention, you just make the world a better place. And given the kind of behaviour I see everyday, the world could definitely use some more ettiquette.

    Thanks for the tip on the book- I’ll keep a lookout for it, and give it a read.

    Reply

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